I'm So Glad I Live In A World Where There Are Octobers
Since childhood, my two favorite books have been The Witches by Roald Dahl and The Worst Witch series by Jill Murphy.
I once dragged my boyfriend and friends to an outdoor screening of Hocus Pocus despite having already watched it on TV twice that month, I have multiple Hermione Granger figurines in my office and I maintain to this day that The Craft is a fucking excellent and truly underrated little piece of feminist cinema.
Due to the utterly regressive policies of the current administration of misogynists and kakistocrats, I’ve adopted, “We are the granddaughters of the witches you didn’t burn,” as my personal motto.
I should make it clear that I do not practice wicca.
BUT, I’ve always been fascinated by witches and witchcraft and inspired by strong women.
October is the witchiest month of them all and a perfect time to celebrate.
In Florida, October doesn’t really have the same autumnal impact as the rest of the eastern seaboard - you just feel a little less like you’re gonna melt when you take the dogs out at 6:00am.
But we still celebrate because October ushers in the best time of the year where the world is a little cozier and a little more magical and we are closer to Thanksgiving - the best of all holidays - than we have ever been.
Here are some fun ways to celebrate the best of all seasons:
Drink warm apple cider or red apple cider sangria.
Eat Sweetzels Spiced Wafers. I lived in Pennsylvania for five years and it was….not great but, those guys know how to do fall right and man, there is nothing better than one of these cookies dunked in some warm apple cider.
Wear dark matte lip paint like Tarteist Quick Dry Lip Paint in Vibin.
Light a shitload of candles that smell like leaves, nutmeg, cloves and burnt marshmallows.
Hex all of the ghouls in the Trump Administration. Yes, even Stephen Miller who is basically an undead, soulless curse upon this world.
Drink a pumpkin spice latte and if anyone gives you grief about it, tell them you’ll douse them in hot sauce and eat them.
Go to Oktoberfest - drink beer, eat all of the spaetzel and do the chicken dance. Oh and if they have currywurst, just fuck yourself up with it. It’s the perfect German snack.
Carve a pumpkin and toast up the seeds with sea salt, chili powder, smoky paprika and cumin.
Watch Hocus Pocus sixteen times.
Listen to Fleetwood Mac and Rumours and turn the volume way up when Rhiannon, Landslide and Gold Dust Woman come on.
Text the women in your life to remind them how fucking amazing they are.
Make Pumpkin Beer Bread. Slather it with butter and honey and serve it to people you love with homemade soup.
Support female-owner businesses and artists like Migdalia Apparel. Literally the comfiest tank top I have ever owned.
Wear a great hat and a killer pair of glasses.
Adopt a shelter dog and give them approximately 2,907,000 smooches because they’re perfect and literally the best thing that ever happened to you.